I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
