Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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