what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
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We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention