Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude. http://tfl.nu/vz4x
  Replies (10) Good night (943) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find. http://tfl.nu/dz78
  Replies (22) Good night (3178) Bad night (1206) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach http://tfl.nu/tgf3
  Replies (24) Good night (3598) Bad night (2143) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever... http://tfl.nu/cgdh
  Replies (10) Good night (5261) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious. http://tfl.nu/rnvz
  Replies (50) Good night (889) Bad night (11614) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor http://tfl.nu/0k04
  Replies (17) Good night (885) Bad night (4731) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW http://tfl.nu/587x
  Replies (15) Good night (4934) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on http://tfl.nu/bnty
  Replies (17) Good night (10155) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon http://tfl.nu/xv5b
  Replies (12) Good night (1847) Bad night (2386)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse. http://tfl.nu/tyw2
  Replies (16) Good night (649) Bad night (4672) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days http://tfl.nu/vazm
  Replies (6) Good night (1675) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her http://tfl.nu/6f57
  Replies (4) Good night (2232) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/shph
  Replies (6) Good night (1208) Bad night (345) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me. http://tfl.nu/rph6
  Replies (1) Good night (525) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  That's a hard toss up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver (1-413): That's a hard toss up http://tfl.nu/wcmj
  Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (306) Order T-Shirt

Randomize