dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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