it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.