In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.