I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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