before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
