I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
