There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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