I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
