My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
