No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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