So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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