My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
