we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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