Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she peed on how many people?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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