I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
