I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
