She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
