dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i was born a porn star she said
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
