how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
