someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
