I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
