so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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