mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
