smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
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then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
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i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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