Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize