What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
