Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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