we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
