I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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