He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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