I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
