just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
