it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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