the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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