I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
