Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
