Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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