I'm sorry my penis didn't work
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize