Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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