How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
