and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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