the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
