i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm passing your future prison.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
