dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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