On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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