a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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