I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
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As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
did i just pee glitter
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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