Dual....:-)
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
