You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
