theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
