Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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