She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
