I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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