The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
