oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
