she woke up with a sticky ear
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
