Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize