my mouth tastes like poor choices
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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