So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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